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jinxlover
Yeah, I'm not good at journalism. However, I have started a blog and will try to do better.
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This is about a week's worth of my everyday outfits. Each outfit has been tested and rated baby/preschooler proof! Collapse )photos ahoyCollapse )
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I miss my students. I miss their smiles, their laughs, their need to be read the same book 450000 times a day, and even their stinky pampers. :(  

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Hello everyone! I've been lurking for several months now, but I guess it is time to get a LJ account so I can hang  out with y'all!  I've never used Live journal before, so bear with me.
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When I'm Dictat- I mean, President

So here's the thing: I'd be a pimp presidenta. I mean, does this country really need another old white guy telling us how to think and what to feel? I say nay, good friends,N-A-Y. So why should you vote for me? Well.....

Extreme makeover:America Edition

1) No fat man in the white house will ever decide what you do with your body. Dumbya is sitting in the   office,enjoying his moon pie while Cheney plots to take over the world. "I know' says the grinch who stole birth control " We'll tell all the women of the world that they are too stupid to control their own bodies, and that the extra 30 cents on the dollar men earn qualifies us as demi gods" Uh uh, um no, i think not, Dick. My womb=my decision. Unless you can fit your bald little head up there and hold a conference with my ovaries, mind your own damn buisness!(also note that the emergency contraceptive pills are NOT abortions!! It's a pill, much like The Pill, that makes the uterus an unwelcome home!No one is dying if they don't even exist) As president, I will allow all women to control their bodies as equally as men control their's. Don't like that idea? Well, then I guess we better start enforcing child support payments....

2) No abortion =Pay up,Sucka.  Hey,deadbeat dad (or missing mom) you can run but you can't hide. If pro-lifers want to make abortion illegal, then you better believe that I will chase some dudes down for the child support. Men can't go around squirting out babies,fleeing the country and then complaining about the frequency of abortion. Hey bud, stand up to your responsibilities, or zip those pants.

3) Two strikes and something is cut off.  Rape isn't even considered a violent crime in this country,partly because women aren't considered people. My plan? glad you asked! After being found guilty for their second reign of rape, the offender will.be.castrated. hey, if you can't control that thing, then I'll take it away. That's what your mom did with your toys, and that's what your president will do with your "Toy"

4) Stupid people shall be bubblized.  I have a dream,a dream of a place where stupid people can mill about with other morons in peace. That place? The Bubble. When I'm president ( La presidente) I'll have a bubble like structure built under the ocean. We'll submarine stupid people ( Jessica Simpson, I'm looking at you) into the bubble, where they can live together, and not annoy important folks. I'll have them spayed or neutered, so they can hunch their little hearts out. Occasionally, we'll drop food and new toys in there, and periodically I'll have the waste vacuumed out. It's a no lose situation, I tell ya!

5) Social Security will be secure. No one will work all their life to only find out that the government has spent all their cash, or that some shrubbery's administration thinks that the average retiree knows anything about stocks. How can I gurrantee this money/ Well.....

6) Weed to Feed. I will legalize marijuana, under certain circumstances. The government will have full control over the selling of it, and any one caught selling it on their own will be killed and have their head staked on a pole in their front lawn. Just kidding.Maybe. There will be rules and regulations similiar to those used in regards to alcohol, and all the money will be used for social services like welfare,social security,disability,etc.

There are so many more ideas, but I'm tired and recovering from surgery.  I need sleep,and I have almost 20 years to persuade ya'll. give me time,aiight?

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************This is also from my previous journal, written 2 yrs ago when  I was dorming. My roomie and I are both bigger gals, so this is just in fun spirits.********

 Ok, so we're poor college students, and we always have the late night/early morning munchies. Got a problem with that?? Anyway, judging by the popularity of Macdonald's and Wendy's dollar menus, I have to say that my roomie and I aren't the only fat kids out there. So after a 2 A.M. food run, we compiled a list of all the signs of being a fat kid. Enjoy, and feel free to top anything with cheese and bacon.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FAT KID IF.....

1. the guy at the macdaddys drive thru window recognizes you and hits on you each time

2. if you have to charge macdaddys and wendys to your debit cards

 3. your bank statement reads like the chamber of commerce report on fast food chains

4. the police pull u over at midnight and asks what you're doin out and all you can reply with is, "Im goin to get some MacDaddys!" (actually happened) 

 5. the weed smokers ask you the best places to go for the munchies

6. instead of caffeine or drugs, you get food to stay awake

 7. you look forward to being pregnant all for the nine months of eating whatever you want and not getting put down for it

 8. the only consistent men in your life are named "Ben and Jerry"

9. you see an animal outside and think to yourself, "Hmm wonder how that would taste on a bun?"

 10. your jeans and michael jackson are starting to have things in common: neither one have touched ladies underwear in year.

 11. you only see your "friends" when pertaining to food (we always meet at the dining hall)

12. you plan your week out on sunday, but only the times you're gonna eat

 13. someone asks you what celebrity u look like, and in all seriousness, you reply with, "Cartman from Southpark!"

14. your house got robbed and you go straight to the fridge to see if your valuables were stolen!

15. you bring out a food topping for foreplay and never get to intercourse because you're too busy eating. (lol, happened to Easybake!) 

16. if u never need a cell phone. ur friends know if u aint in the dorm, look in the dining hall

17. if you named your pet fish Baked,Fried, and Sushi


 
 
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
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musings on birth control

A friend recently wrote in his blog about his issues with American breeding. He pointed out that people who aren't educated and not likely to  raise responsible,self reliant children are the people who are popping out kids left and right. I've found this to be  a  true occurance. Think of all the successful, intelligent people you know........now tell me how many have more than three kids? ok, now think of the stereotypical "welfare mom" how many kids do you picture her having? In 500 years, Americans will be  a nation of Dumbyas,because as Green Day pointed out years ago "Been around the world and it seems only stupid people are breeding"
 
   I don't know what can be done about our gene pool,honestly. The rest of the worl thinks we're all fat,lazy, and stupid; so I guess that'll be a self fulfilling prophecy. As Americans we have enough wealth to choose our food (Have you ever heard of an Ethiopean Vegetarian? me neither) enough smarts to cheat the system and take advantage of social programs, and yet it will be our most carnal regions that will destroy our society. For all of our evolution, we still like a good roll in the hay, and our future generations will suffer for it. Asian people have long been considered the most intelligent culture, perhaps it is because they have limits on children. With fewer children, you can focus more attention,provide better for their financial strains, and keep up with their schoolwork.
 
   Perhaps when I'm president I'll put restrictions on breeding. I truly think people should only have as many children as they can afford to nurture, love,and educate. It's not classist, it's common sense. I also think that along with  all the foreign aid we're giving to starving countries we should include supplies of birth control or perhaps free  vasectomies. If you have fewer mouths to feed, the food lasts a lot longer!
 
  Anyway, if you're wondering, I'm going to school to get a degree in politics and plan to move on to law school. My goals for the future include becoming a district attorney,member of the House,and then running for presidency. and of course,........... my goals DO NOT include having children.
 
 
   we're doing it to ourselves,people.
 
the problem with America is stupidity. I’m not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself???
 
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Jinx is my beagle, or should I say I'm her human? She's probably the craziest b*tch I know. I adopted her after adopting a cute young shorkie from the pound who turned out to be pregnant.( I asked why she was so big and the lady said that she just had a swollen tummy. Yeah, full of puppies!!) Within a month of having the shorkie, she had an emergency c section, died, and all three of her puppies died. It was a very sad time for me, as this was my first pet since the loss of both my dog of ten yrs and cat of 18 yrs the previous year.  The way the shorkie died was horrible. I brought her home after her  c-section, hours later she stopped breathing. I performed CPR on her on the way to the vet's, not realizing that she had massively hemorrhaged. ( it was late at night) I was soaked in blood, and so was my car. She,of course, died. When the vet pulled up, I was sitting on his steps holding my lifeless and bloody dog. Her puppies later died one by one. The vet said that the previous owners had abused and malnourished my dog, which was why no one survived. She was also less than a year old, a puppy herself when she gave birth.

I found Jinx by mistake. I was posting to the pound about the loss of Gracie (shorkie) and ran across her story. The workers just called her Beagle because she was a career shelter dog. She'd get adopted, and brought back. I went in to visit the dogs and saw Beagle in the back of her cage. "She won't interact with anyone." The workers informed me. I walked up to the cage and she ran forward. Everyone was shocked, and I was suckered in. I agreed to take her to the vet for a check out to see if she was healthy. I walked her, and then let her into the vet waiting room, where she took the smelliest, most rank dump as soon as she entered. The receptionist had to open the windows!!! She then proceeded to HOWL like only a beagle can, the entire wait. No one would sit anywhere near us.  the vet checked her out, and not only was she healthy, but also spayed. and a DRAMA QUEEN. She screamed (and that's what it sounded like) as soon as she saw the needles, and jumped off the table and OUT the door when it came time to have her ID chip implanted. To this day I don't know why I still agreed to adopt her. At the checkout counter she got in a fight with a German shephard. And won. At this time she only weighed 12 pounds, so go figure. I named her Jinx Marley because of all the bad things that had happened to me before and during her adoption. Marley is after the notorious Marley in the book Marley and Me about a very misbehaved but lovable dog. On the way home Jinx jumped out the car window and took off down the highway after a bird. Within a week of having her she had run off 'hunting' twice, killing 2 rabbits, a snake, and a bird while she was gone for about 20 minutes.  Even with a shock collar she will still go hunting! I couldn't punish her either, because the crazy thing would howl and cry if you looked at her funny. Then she'd pretend to be hurt so you would love on her.  I decided that town life wasn't for "That Jinx!" as we began to call her, so I started looking for a country home for her. I couldn't find just the right one, and she hated everyone interested in her. A few months later and no new home for Jinx, I found out that my grandfather (who loved Jinx and wanted her to live with him but was unable to care for her) had died and left me his home. a FARM. IN THE COUNTRY. I spent all this time looking for a new home for that Jinx, and she found us a new home.  I don't know why Jinx and I are inseparable. She drives me crazy and gets me into trouble. But late at night she snuggles up to me and looks at me like I'm her God, and I know that she has never been loved before.  I write this as she's climbing up my cast to get to the slice of pizza in my hand. She's neurotic, bossy, dramatic, and insane but I know that she loves me. Plus, homegirl now weighs about twenty five pounds and will cut a bitch if necessary. She's a bad mammajamma!  I ain't trying to get hunted down, so I guess I gotta love her.




But I am installing an underground electric fence, and I'll have all kinds of fun training her with it.

Current Mood: mischievous mischievous

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I'm not really a journal person. I mean, I love to write, but it is really hard for me to write about myself. I'm a private person, ya dig? So I don't know how often I'll be updating this., but I'll try.

DeAnna
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